Obsession List

Ways to Tell You're Obsessed with The Lord of the Rings:


--You instantly and firmly state that it is an insult to call anybody with a recurve/longbow "Legolas" *

--Whenever someone annoys you, you say "Leave now and never come back!" *

--You have actually contemplated all possible ways to make your feet grow hair *

--You insist that your life-long dream is to build and live in a hobbit-hole *

--You'll gladly spend hours with no regrets doing dumb things as long as it's related to LotR *

--When someone is trying to see something, you say, "Legolas, what do your elf-eyes see?" *

--Even if your crush is an imaginary person, you defend any actor from LotR *

--Anything that is circular immediately goes onto your finger -- who knows if it'll make you disappear! *

--You usually sign off with "I regret to announce this is the end. I'm going now. I bid you all a very fond farewell. Good-bye." *

--You'd much rather watch Lord of the Rings than be on the internet *

--You can sing The Road Goes Ever On and On and Steward of Gondor *

--Anything that you love is called "precious" *

--You're often in trouble for LotR character or cast names written on your knuckles or ankles *

--You have tried re-enact Weathertop but no one was willing to be Frodo (or no one wanted to stab you)

--You hate when your sister touches you but you are fine when she starts pawing you and rubbing her head on your arm *

--You laugh at your sister when she starts hopping along like Gollum, even if it is in public *

--For Halloween, you definitely want to be your favorite character from LotR *

--You have a strange obsession with walking sticks that no one understands

--Anyone with a big beard either looks like Gimli, Gandalf, or Saruman

--You name your pet frog Smeagol/Gollum, only because they say that he is very frog-like *

--When doing World History, you read the same paragraph at least five times because it says "Uruk" and you want to know if it says anything about Saruman *

--When you try to grab something and it won't come, you hiss "Give up the [insert item name]!" *

--You are very tempted to stomp on someone's fire and yell, "Put it out, you fools, put it out!"

--You name your pencils, pens, and notebooks after your favorite characters *

--You have been known to stroke the DVD cases and books while whispering "my precious" *

--You apologize to the person on the DVD when you drop it *

--You giggle uncontrollably whenever someone says anything about crops, cabbages, carrots, or potatoes

--The first name you look up when you pick up a baby name book is "Orlando" *

--You run to the TV because you heard "Orlando" only to find out that they were talking about that stupid city in Florida *

--The word "urban" usually makes you pay attention

--You're probably the only person in the world to realize that on the cover of The Fellowship of the Ring Legolas is mirrored because he is shooting left-handed when you know he is right-handed *

--The only reason you want to be Frodo's sister is because he is your second favorite hobbit and if you're Pippin's sister then you can't marry him *

--You go through phone books to see if there is anyone with a cast member's name in your area *

--You've figured out how to convert your age to hobbit years *

--You apologize to Pippin if you accidentally kick or step on a mushroom *

--You ask your parents if you're crossing the Brandywine River when you are on a bridge

--Your best friend could write a book called "How I Dealt with a Lord of the Rings Lunatic" *

--Shopping is boring unless the store you're going to has LotR-related merchandise *

--You want to name your next puppy Heir of Isildur and call it Strider *

--You and your sister re-enact the Frodo vs. Gollum scene from the Mount Doom scene in RotK until you get in trouble (and you're in public!) *

--You're angry because Eragon sounds too much like Aragorn *

--You've made and eaten your own lembas bread *

--You walk around for days upset that someone has misspelled a LotR character name *

--"Hope" has TONS of meaning to you... after all, it was what Aragorn's name once meant (he was called Estel while he was being raised by Elrond and Estel means hope) *

--You cannot understand how your friend could have possibly forgotten a quote from the movies *

--You can repeat the Elvish phrases from the movies, with the perfect accent and tone! *

--The first thing you think when you see "Colgate" is the Black Gates *

--You cannot believe that your siblings don't recognize Viggo Mortenson when he's in the newspaper *

--Every spider you see is immediately Shelob *

--You know what "tig" and "cup" are *

--You think that instead of Spanish and French as foreign languages being taught in schools it should be Elvish and Dwarvish *

--You love using a certain remote because instead of "Enter" it says "ent" *

--Your craze for Lord of the Rings has rubbed off onto your mom and now she is one reason you spend hours watching/reading about/searching related stuffs *

--When you have to cross a road and you pause in the middle just to shout, "Get off the road!" *

If you want to add your ways to tell you're obsessed to this list, please post email them to me.